Prayers for Jomayra
A few days ago, I went to see my friend, Jomayra. She was one of the original candidates for the University Project program. She hadn't started school yet because of some problems she was having here while I was in the U.S. but we were hoping to be able to support her in her studies next year. I kept in contact with her while I was away, and I thought I would see her in the church when I came back, but I hadn't seen her yet and on Thursday I had such a strong urge to see her and find out how she was doing. So I went across town to her house.
I knocked on the door. Her brother answered and showed me in. He let me know she was back in her room in the back and that I should go back there. I walked in and Jomayra was sitting on her bed, still in her pajamas, looking a little sick. I hugged her and asked how she was doing and where she'd been the last couple weeks. She said, "you haven't already heard?" I think I knew in that moment what she was going to tell me.
I told her no I hadn't heard anything, and asked if she was ok. "Oh Amy...you're going to kill me. I don't know how to tell you." After a long time of not wanting to say, only telling me she feels so ashamed, she said, "Amy, I'm pregnant."
Jomayra is not married, and from what I understand, the relationship she is in, on top of being a kind of "rebound" relationship, isn't the healthiest, most stable relationship out there.
I had no idea what to say. I had no idea what she needed to hear. She kept talking, telling me how wrong her decision was and how guilty she felt. She shared that she felt she could never show her face in the church again. She is afraid of what people will say, or not say. She is afraid to face her pastors and tell them what's happened. She told me she's been asking God for forgiveness and she knows that He forgives, but that she can't help but feel so guilty. She shared with me that she was reading her Bible and happened to be reading about one of the many instances in which the children of Israel rebelled against God and were unfaithful to Him. She felt like she was reading about herself. She felt that everytime God said to His people, "you've disobeyed, you have rebelled, you have turned your back on Me" it was as if the Word was speaking to her, "you've disobeyed, Jomayra. you have rebelled, Jomayra. you have turned your back on me, Jomayra." What could I say?
I didn't think it necessary to tell her the decision she had made was not ok. Pretty sure she already gets that. I prayed in that moment for God to tell me what to say to her. All that came to my head was to just tell her that yes, though she was disobedient, that does not change God's love for her. God still calls her his child, and Himself her father. God knew before she was born the choices she would make and the consequences she would face, and that never stopped him from wanting a relationship with her; from calling her His daughter. I told her I can't imagine what she is feeling, because I have not been through what she is going through, but that she is not alone; that I love her and care for her, and am here when she needs me.
Do you know what she said? She said, "Amy, I knew you were here, I knew you got here a couple weeks ago and I wanted to see you. I wanted to be with someone who would tell me the truth and make me feel loved. But I have been so sick, I haven't been able to leave my house. This morning I prayed that God would help me to feel better so that I could go out and see you. And after I prayed that, you knocked on my door."
I feel like God, even in our rebellion and moments of hurt and despair...even when that despair comes from the knowledge that we have been unfaithful to Him...is so good to us; is always working on our behalf, always giving us what we need. He is so faithful, even in our unfaithfulness. It never ceases to amaze me. I guess I'm still waiting for that moment to come when what I've done or what someone else has done is too much, and God leaves me to myself. But that moment never comes. He is always faithful to forgive and to love. It is amazing, the love of the God we serve.
Jomayra told me that she remembered me saying months ago, that I wanted to do a Bible study with her when I came back. She told me she would like to do that if I still wanted to. I know God has me here for a purpose, and I hope I can always come through for Him. I do want to spend time with Jomayra, studying God's word. I don't want satan to get in the way of that. I want to ask for your prayers-that Jomayra will feel the love of God; that from here on out, she will make wise decisions that glorify the Lord; that she will choose to raise her child in His love and in His way; that she will have the support and love of her church, and not feel abandoned or rejected there. Please pray that God will use me in whatever way He will so that she will know His love for her. Please pray that we will have plenty of opportunities to meet together and that we will make the time to spend in prayer and in the Bible together, and that we will both grow because of it.
What can I say to her? What can I do for her? Have you ever been in her position or know someone who has? What did you/they need to hear? Have you been in mine? What did you say? What do you wish you would have said? What would you say to Jomayra? What would you do for her?
I knocked on the door. Her brother answered and showed me in. He let me know she was back in her room in the back and that I should go back there. I walked in and Jomayra was sitting on her bed, still in her pajamas, looking a little sick. I hugged her and asked how she was doing and where she'd been the last couple weeks. She said, "you haven't already heard?" I think I knew in that moment what she was going to tell me.
I told her no I hadn't heard anything, and asked if she was ok. "Oh Amy...you're going to kill me. I don't know how to tell you." After a long time of not wanting to say, only telling me she feels so ashamed, she said, "Amy, I'm pregnant."
Jomayra is not married, and from what I understand, the relationship she is in, on top of being a kind of "rebound" relationship, isn't the healthiest, most stable relationship out there.
I had no idea what to say. I had no idea what she needed to hear. She kept talking, telling me how wrong her decision was and how guilty she felt. She shared that she felt she could never show her face in the church again. She is afraid of what people will say, or not say. She is afraid to face her pastors and tell them what's happened. She told me she's been asking God for forgiveness and she knows that He forgives, but that she can't help but feel so guilty. She shared with me that she was reading her Bible and happened to be reading about one of the many instances in which the children of Israel rebelled against God and were unfaithful to Him. She felt like she was reading about herself. She felt that everytime God said to His people, "you've disobeyed, you have rebelled, you have turned your back on Me" it was as if the Word was speaking to her, "you've disobeyed, Jomayra. you have rebelled, Jomayra. you have turned your back on me, Jomayra." What could I say?
I didn't think it necessary to tell her the decision she had made was not ok. Pretty sure she already gets that. I prayed in that moment for God to tell me what to say to her. All that came to my head was to just tell her that yes, though she was disobedient, that does not change God's love for her. God still calls her his child, and Himself her father. God knew before she was born the choices she would make and the consequences she would face, and that never stopped him from wanting a relationship with her; from calling her His daughter. I told her I can't imagine what she is feeling, because I have not been through what she is going through, but that she is not alone; that I love her and care for her, and am here when she needs me.
Do you know what she said? She said, "Amy, I knew you were here, I knew you got here a couple weeks ago and I wanted to see you. I wanted to be with someone who would tell me the truth and make me feel loved. But I have been so sick, I haven't been able to leave my house. This morning I prayed that God would help me to feel better so that I could go out and see you. And after I prayed that, you knocked on my door."
I feel like God, even in our rebellion and moments of hurt and despair...even when that despair comes from the knowledge that we have been unfaithful to Him...is so good to us; is always working on our behalf, always giving us what we need. He is so faithful, even in our unfaithfulness. It never ceases to amaze me. I guess I'm still waiting for that moment to come when what I've done or what someone else has done is too much, and God leaves me to myself. But that moment never comes. He is always faithful to forgive and to love. It is amazing, the love of the God we serve.
Jomayra told me that she remembered me saying months ago, that I wanted to do a Bible study with her when I came back. She told me she would like to do that if I still wanted to. I know God has me here for a purpose, and I hope I can always come through for Him. I do want to spend time with Jomayra, studying God's word. I don't want satan to get in the way of that. I want to ask for your prayers-that Jomayra will feel the love of God; that from here on out, she will make wise decisions that glorify the Lord; that she will choose to raise her child in His love and in His way; that she will have the support and love of her church, and not feel abandoned or rejected there. Please pray that God will use me in whatever way He will so that she will know His love for her. Please pray that we will have plenty of opportunities to meet together and that we will make the time to spend in prayer and in the Bible together, and that we will both grow because of it.
What can I say to her? What can I do for her? Have you ever been in her position or know someone who has? What did you/they need to hear? Have you been in mine? What did you say? What do you wish you would have said? What would you say to Jomayra? What would you do for her?
posted by Amy at 9:15 AM
7 Comments:
Hey aimster. I was really touched by your post, and can sense the angst of the moment. I mean what can you say or do in that situation except pray and wait for guidance?
Speaking as someone who was in a situation where I made some pretty bad choices and had to deal with consequences and guilt (you remember, you were there), what helped was having people love me through it and be with me throughout the journey who didn't judge or reject me. That spoke more about God's love and forgivness than anything else.
I also had to learn to forgive myself and learn to accept God's grace. Healing prayer and healing memories helped.
It sounds like you handled it well. Praying for you and her...
Hey Ames -
Auntie Jules here - back reading your post and glad you made it safely.
On this topic ... Lord knows I've had my series of challenges with your cousins (thankfully none quite like this).
I usually find it's more a test for me than for them. I'm the one who has to figure out how to react, counsel, etc., and that's not always easy. My approach ... listen more, speak less. Remember that the person seeking support (even if it's your own child) has probably already tortured him or herself enough, and they don't need lectures. These types of events are not insignificant - they're markers on our journey, and just as God has planned these situations, He's planned the next steps. Just be faithful, patient, and willing to accept His will and things will all work out just as He's planned. Remember - this isn't our script. Gotta go with the flow.
Miss ya kid - come see me in KC soon!
Hugs -
j
Amy,
Try these things to help, Matt 11:28-30, Matt 21:22, Luke 5:18-32, Luke 8:43-51, Luke 11:9-10, John 3:18 & 22, and then my favorite John 8:1-12. If you have to read one to her, then the last one is it, but if you can read them all, then it will really help her. I'll send you something that maybe you can translate for her, that will help, it's a piece I did in school that I have on the front of my scriptures. Just remember that we agreed to come here knowing that we would be tested and that we would fail and it's His atonement that allows us to become perfect again through repentance and the spirit will will come down upon her as the Holy Ghost descended upon Jesus when John the Baptist baptized him, and tell her that she her debt has been paid. Man can't tell you that you've repented, only the Holy Ghost can via peace, love, and comfort and the desire never to commit that sin again. She'll be fine and you just be the good friend you are and the blessings come after trials.
Echoing what Nathan said, the child is a gift from God. It would be really easy for Jomayra to look at the child as a punishment, but that would also be a punishment for the child.
It sounds like she knows she made mistakes. She has to seek forgiveness, and then the hard part... accept forgiveness. God is holding it out for her and wants her to accept it.
God did not provide the temptation. We were just studying James in Small Group and he says God cannot be tempted, nor does he tempt. What God DID provide is a child. The best way to Honor God now is to honor that child, that child whose plans are already created and known by God.
In God's grace, he gives us gifts even in times of our indescretion. It may be a wake up call for her in more ways than one... and waking up is not a bad thing.
Do what you're doing. Continue to give her your support and to help her believe that God is doing the same. In fact, God sent YOU, as part of his support for her.
The past can't be changed, but she has been trusted with a child of God and the future with that treasure starts now.
P.S. - I need your address
Hey Amy!!! Looks like you got a lot of great advice. Besides, it sounds like you are handling it well without any advice. I will be praying for Jomayra and for your ministry in her life. She needs someone like you who will love and accept her and show her that unconditional love and forgiveness that God has for her!! It's great to hear how God is using you!!!
Amy great story, it is so cool how God moved to answer the prayers of one of his children. She knew God loved her but she needed to hear it, to feel his arms around her and so He sent you. What a privilege to be used by God in this way. Amy you don't need our advice, you have the Holy Spirit and the Word of God. You are equipped to minister to this women. Lean on both the Word and the Spirit. It wasn't a counseling or seminary degree that God used to touch Jomayra it was your obedience, His love flowing through you and His Spirit in you. Be obedient, be bold, equip yourself by by meditating on the word. We are proud to be a part of your life we're praying for you.
Psalms 103:8-14
Hebrews 8:12
John 8:1-11
Sweet Amy Pan... I agree with most every comment I just read below :) Love is the most valuable commodity to this young woman right now. She just needs you to love her and to be reminded that Yes, God loves her still. I agree with Brent... You don't need our advice :) I have full confidence in your connection with God Almighty and I trust that He will help you be the beautiful friend that you are. Don't doubt yourself Pan, you are well versed in the art of Grace and Mercy. I love you and can't wait to hear how this 9 month adventure will grow and teach you more about yourself. My prayers are also for Jomayra and unborn baby...
Post a Comment
<< Home