One week to go

This is the hard part; the scary part. This is the part where I can't sleep at night because I can't stop thinking. And all I can think is "what am I doing? How am I gonna do this?" over and over again. And it makes me nauseous.

And I don't want to go. I don't want to be away from my family. I don't want to stop going to my small group. I don't want to miss out on Meatball Mondays and Tuesday morning scrabble games and watching all the shows on the DVR with my mom and dad every week. I don't want to leave what's familiar...because doing that is risky.

And maybe I won't be able to find anyone at the university who can tell me how much it costs to study 6 years of computer programming or kindergarten education. And maybe I won't find any way to get a visa that would allow me to stay in the country longer than 90 days. And maybe I'll never be able to communicate effectively in another culture and no one will want to work with me. And maybe this is all a bust. And then what?

It happens this way every time. This week is always the hardest part. But I have hope, because so far I've chosen to get on the plane anyway, every time...and just go. And every time it's been more worth it than I could ever have imagined. Minus the mosquitoes and crickets.

And I sure do hope I can avoid the lice this time around...

Ok. Having said all that, I think I'm ready to go. This is going to be really exciting and I'm glad I can share this experience with all of you. Thanks for being here with me. Please pray that God will remove the unnecessary obstacles. And that He'll help me find a place to stay (my living arrangements are re-arranging on me). And most of all, that He'll make happen what He wants to happen and that I'll get on board with all of it.