Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Wish me luck...

Today, I have decided, is Cleaning Day. I have a tendency to save things. Things that there is absolutely no way I will ever use or want again. I don't know why I do it. I just have a really hard time throwing things away. What is that about, anyway? I mean is that sort of behavior genetic or is it my own fault? Anyway, I feel it's time to conquer my fear of the letting go of these many pieces of junk that have found a home in my room for so long. It will be tough, but I'm going to do it. Right now.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

I guess some people can't handle the cackle.

today marks a first for me. i went to see Ryan Gutierrez's play at Warren High School, and it was so funny that I laughed out loud, pretty hysterically, quite a bit actually. the people who were sitting next to me before intermission were not there when the second half of the show began. they sat somewhere else. i'm actually pretty proud of myself.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

plus, my dad taped over my stage combat fight.

I showed up at the Pacific Amphitheater at 4pm on Saturday, I put my cap and gown on, I checked in and got my name card, and then I went to stand in line with all the other theater graduates. I was really excited, we were all laughing and joking around. Someone suggested we do one last "whether the weather" which is one of those weird theater warm ups that gets your vocal chords loose and helps you channel energy (or maybe it doesn't do either one of those things...maybe it's just one of those weird things theater people do to get attention). So we did, and everybody looked at us funny, which is the ultimate goal, I suppose. It was a blast. Then we walked in together to the band playing Pomp and Circumstance, and there was cheering and fun and excitement and I felt great. It was awesome to walk accross the stage and shake a bunch of hands belonging to people I don't know, get my diploma holder, go back and sit down, throw/dodge tortillas...and then it was over and we all shuffled out to the parking lot where we met our families and continued to laugh and hug and take pictures and smile and have a great time. And then...I walked away from it all. Went out to dinner with my family. And I guess it hit me when I walked away...it feels like I'm walking away from everything I've had for the last six years. Is that too emo? I mean it felt like I had been stripped of my identity. And all of a sudden, I'm just a lazy pile with three retarded jobs and a diploma holder.

I was driving to Jeremy Peterson's Eagle Scout ceremony on Sunday and I took Woodruff all the way to some little park in Bellflower or somewhere. But along the way I drove by Parkcrest church and I was surprised that it looked so familiar at first and then as I got closer all these memories came rushing back and filled my head. I kept thinking of Petey and of us almost dying repeatedly in Sarah's taurus...and then I thought of how I felt at that point in my life. That band was my identity. I felt like if I ever lost what I had with that group of people in that band, I wouldn't know what to do. I didn't think that life could get any better. I was really happy then. And then I realized that even though Awestruck is not the same band anymore and I'm not going to lunch every saturday and nobody is wearing that sweet afro wig and some of us are not as close as we used to be...life is still good. I'm still really happy. I'm still just where I need to be and that just because one phase ends that doesn't mean that everything ends. Something else is just beginning. And it's ok to let go of the old and embrace the new.

Boy, I'm glad I took Woodruff.

Anyway, having said all that, if you are reading this blog, you are invited to my graduation party to help me celebrate my accomplishment and mourn my loss. It's this Sunday, May 14th between 2 and 5pm. Yes, I know, it's mother's day, but that's why we're partying it up between lunch and dinner...so you can still come. it's at my house, and you can e-mail me if you need directions at amy@theburn.com. I hope to see you there!

Sunday, May 07, 2006


There are only a few times in my life that I can remember feeling this sad.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

3 Days...

Three days to go...improv final today, directing and stage combat finals tomorrow...and then...sleeeeeeeep for like two weeks straight. I can't wait!

*Photo courtesy of Padfoot240. These are some of his best friends.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

4 Days...

I skipped 5 because my computer was retarded and would not load the image yesterday. My bad.