changing the world is easy
i don't know how many of you have worked, or are working, in a service industry. if you've ever worked in food service or customer service or retail, you probably know what a huge difference a smile or a kind word from a customer can make in your workday.
i love my job. i have loved my job since i was blessed with it in 2001. but sometimes (especially in the months surrounding the big holidays) it is very difficult to enjoy my job. it is draining to greet a new table with a genuine smile and a, "hi, folks, how are you today?" (yes, it is a job requirement to say "folks") and in response to hear, "give me a diet coke." i hope you don't think i'm exaggerating. it happens pretty often, actually. during my next few shifts, i think i'm going to tally how many tables actually answer my greeting with an appropriate response, however unfelt it may be, and how many tables just jump right in to what drink they want or what appetizer they want...or whatever seems to be more important than being nice.
it's even more disheartening when they can't even peel their eyes off their menu or their phone or whatever else they have in front of them long enough to make a tiny second of eye-contact with me as they make their demands. i don't think it's too much to ask for a little eye-contact, is it? i will give them the same eye-contact courtesy. i won't just frown and scribble on my little order book and walk away without glancing in their direction. i will smile and look them i the face as i pleasantly acknowledge their special requests and assure them that i will get the order right.
and you wouldn't think that it would be such a big deal, but the word "please" is like...incredible. the difference between, "give me a hickory burger. extra barbecue sauce. no tomato. no lettuce." and "i'd like a hickory burger with extra barbecue sauce. and may i have that without tomatoes or lettuce, please?" is like the difference between two other hugely different things. i don't even know how to begin to explain how important it is to just say please. and to ask for things rather than demand them. we live in such a culture of demand. and there is an attitude of entitlement that we seem to have as a people. that we deserve whatever we want. we are entitled to have it, simply because we want it or think we should have it. but you know...nobody is actually entitled to a burger with no lettuce or tomato.
the point is, it gets real old real fast when table after table, guest after guest treats me with incivility or rudeness or even indifference. it actually even hurts sometimes. and tonight was definitely a "no please" night. (that's what i call the nights when almost no one says please or thank you)...(seriously...it happens a lot). so by the end of the evening, i was beat. just plain tired. and not from a lack of sleep or from being too busy. but from having the life sucked out of me by life-sucking people all night. it's sad, really.
and then.......
i walked up to greet my last table of the evening. just one guy. and i gave him a weak smile and a tired "hi, how are you tonight?" and do you know what he did? he looked at me. right at my face. and he smiled. and he said, "i'm great, thanks! i'm just waiting for a couple friends. they'll be here any minute. we're going to change the world!" and i laughed. like a genuine laugh. with that one smile and that bit of eye-contact and that one tiny exchange, he single-handedly removed all the baggage of the entire evening full of people i had already had to endure. what a gift. his friends showed up, they all were nice, they all said please and thank you (i got quite a few thank you's, actually) and every time i came to the table to check on them, they stopped their conversation to acknowledge me and smile. they made me enjoy my job. and in the end, they gave me a more-than-generous tip. they really made my night. and i'll tell you what...i overheard bits and pieces of conversation about real estate and websites and "the competition"...and while none of that interests me, and i have no idea what their plans are...i do believe they're going to change the world. they've already started changing it.
and so, i hope the next time your server walks up to your table with a weak smile and a tired greeting, you'll remember this story and try to change their world. it can be done with a smile, eye-contact, a please and thank you, and some genuine friendliness.
i love my job. i have loved my job since i was blessed with it in 2001. but sometimes (especially in the months surrounding the big holidays) it is very difficult to enjoy my job. it is draining to greet a new table with a genuine smile and a, "hi, folks, how are you today?" (yes, it is a job requirement to say "folks") and in response to hear, "give me a diet coke." i hope you don't think i'm exaggerating. it happens pretty often, actually. during my next few shifts, i think i'm going to tally how many tables actually answer my greeting with an appropriate response, however unfelt it may be, and how many tables just jump right in to what drink they want or what appetizer they want...or whatever seems to be more important than being nice.
it's even more disheartening when they can't even peel their eyes off their menu or their phone or whatever else they have in front of them long enough to make a tiny second of eye-contact with me as they make their demands. i don't think it's too much to ask for a little eye-contact, is it? i will give them the same eye-contact courtesy. i won't just frown and scribble on my little order book and walk away without glancing in their direction. i will smile and look them i the face as i pleasantly acknowledge their special requests and assure them that i will get the order right.
and you wouldn't think that it would be such a big deal, but the word "please" is like...incredible. the difference between, "give me a hickory burger. extra barbecue sauce. no tomato. no lettuce." and "i'd like a hickory burger with extra barbecue sauce. and may i have that without tomatoes or lettuce, please?" is like the difference between two other hugely different things. i don't even know how to begin to explain how important it is to just say please. and to ask for things rather than demand them. we live in such a culture of demand. and there is an attitude of entitlement that we seem to have as a people. that we deserve whatever we want. we are entitled to have it, simply because we want it or think we should have it. but you know...nobody is actually entitled to a burger with no lettuce or tomato.
the point is, it gets real old real fast when table after table, guest after guest treats me with incivility or rudeness or even indifference. it actually even hurts sometimes. and tonight was definitely a "no please" night. (that's what i call the nights when almost no one says please or thank you)...(seriously...it happens a lot). so by the end of the evening, i was beat. just plain tired. and not from a lack of sleep or from being too busy. but from having the life sucked out of me by life-sucking people all night. it's sad, really.
and then.......
i walked up to greet my last table of the evening. just one guy. and i gave him a weak smile and a tired "hi, how are you tonight?" and do you know what he did? he looked at me. right at my face. and he smiled. and he said, "i'm great, thanks! i'm just waiting for a couple friends. they'll be here any minute. we're going to change the world!" and i laughed. like a genuine laugh. with that one smile and that bit of eye-contact and that one tiny exchange, he single-handedly removed all the baggage of the entire evening full of people i had already had to endure. what a gift. his friends showed up, they all were nice, they all said please and thank you (i got quite a few thank you's, actually) and every time i came to the table to check on them, they stopped their conversation to acknowledge me and smile. they made me enjoy my job. and in the end, they gave me a more-than-generous tip. they really made my night. and i'll tell you what...i overheard bits and pieces of conversation about real estate and websites and "the competition"...and while none of that interests me, and i have no idea what their plans are...i do believe they're going to change the world. they've already started changing it.
and so, i hope the next time your server walks up to your table with a weak smile and a tired greeting, you'll remember this story and try to change their world. it can be done with a smile, eye-contact, a please and thank you, and some genuine friendliness.
posted by Amy at 11:20 PM
5 Comments:
nice blog update from the perspective of a waitress.
by the way, that is almost exactly what i order every time. i just get lettuce too
John Smith - "pimpin' ain't easy."
Hi Amy,
This is Ruth Herrera from church. I used to read your blog when you were in Peru and occasionally I still check it out. I was looking for your link to the Ecuador Trip and read this entry. I used to be a waitress at a diner in stonewood shopping center (back in the early 80s at The Broadway, before it became Sears) so I have a soft spot for people in the food service industry. I really enjoyed this entry, I hope you don't mind but I copied this entry to give out to my friends & family. Everyone can use a reminder that a little kindness goes a long way.
~Ruth
Ruth, I don't mind at all. :-) I'm glad to know you still stop by here every once in a while. It was really encouraging when you and Juan came to talk to me after the service last Sunday. thanks for all your support!
Amy,
I'm reading this a week AFTER you posted it, but just to let you know, YOU have changed my world :-)
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